Octopuns

Guest Strip #9 - FallDownBesideHer

2012-02-15T00:48:00.005+11:00

Apparently it's Valentine's Day and apparently I was meant to draw a Valentine's Day comic. As I was far too lazy (and ALONE) to do that, it is extremely fortunate that someone else was kind enough to make one for me. This guest submission is brought to you by FallDownBesideHer, whose real name is a huge secret that no one can ever know. You can check out some of her stuff at http://falldownbesideher.deviantart.com/ but she's just starting to use it, so as of RIGHT NOW there isn't much stuff. So, check back later! In the meantime, feel free to send her angry messages, especially if you have nothing better to do on Valentine's Day. Alternatively, you can send me angry messages but I probably won't read them because who has the time these days.

#84 - The Hangover

2012-01-25T02:12:00.003+11:00

The bad news is that this comic is too obvious and not funny. The good news is that there is a couple of 'references' to old comics.

Guest Strip #8 - OutlandishFlamingo

2012-01-10T17:21:00.003+11:00

If I recall correctly, when I first read this comic, it confused me and I wanted to cry. Afterwards, I suddenly noticed the joke, wiped away my tears and promised the creator that I'd upload it as soon as ~~humanely~~ humanly possible. This was in November. As you can see, I am a very organised person.

There is one thing I dislike about this guest submission. The octopi in this comic all have the correct number of legs. It's like he doesn't even read this comic! Outrageous. If you somehow find it in your heart to forgive him, you might want to check out his deviantart account and look at the pretty pictures and things he has made and stuff.

Note: I must remind you that my lack of updates is not because I hate you all. I am an incredibly lazy, unmotivated person. Couple that with the fact that when I force myself to make a comic, this happens, I think you can maybe agree that it's for the best. Having said that, I'm about due for an update and I don't believe I can put it off for any longer, so expect a horrible comic at some point in 2012! Once again, thanks for the few of you who are still checking this blog for some reason. If I ever make merchandise, I'll give you a $1 discount. Just my way of saying thanks.

#83 - Pizza

2011-12-15T16:50:00.003+11:00

Ummm. Uhhh... actually, I don't think words will help. Just move along.

#82 - Music

2011-11-21T18:27:00.003+11:00

Haha. Sweet Racks. (note: that's not the joke)

not shown: purple octopus feeling so distressed that he had to eat his bag, headphones and CD between panel 4 and 5.

EDIT: THE COMMENT SECTION IS NOW LARGELY NSFW SINCE EVERYONE STARTED SWEARING AT ME.

#81 - Cinema

2011-11-15T22:59:00.009+11:00

Part of the reason I've put off updating so long is because I couldn't think of any puns that weren't completely crap. I was intending to return with an excellent comic that was totally worth the two month wait. Then I realised that that's not what Octopuns is about. Octopuns is about shit comics and it just wouldn't feel right to post a quality update, especially on such a momentous occasion (i.e, me finally updating).

So, I'm posting this instead. It probably doesn't make sense and everything is drawn more horribly than usual. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. I will be back with another completely shit update by the end of the week.

EDIT: ewww, it's almost as if I made a conscious decision to only use ugly colours in this comic. MAYBE I DID.
EDIT: that thing doesn't even look sad. It looks like a concerned cat with conjunctivitis. MAYBE IT'S MEANT TO BE
EDIT: it's not
FINAL EDIT: I regret everything. I'm going to sleep. Someone convince blogger to remove Octopuns from the internet.
BONUS EDIT: if you were true fans you would have let Octopuns die with dignity. I BET YOU ARE GLAD I'VE UPDATED NOW, AREN'T YOU? AREN'T YOU? HUH? HUH?

#80 - Bear

2011-09-15T00:27:00.004+10:00

That is what we call a misdirect.

It is also what I call a horrible comic (and just when I was almost proud of Octopuns).

Guest Strip #7 - Thatch the Wizerd

2011-09-14T11:21:00.002+10:00

Now, I know I said this before, but this really is the last guest comic I have. A regular comic will be updated later today but I'm hoping this will keep you going.

This guest comic is from TJ over at thatchthewizerd.wordpress.com.

From what I can understand, Thatch the Wizerd is about Thatch who is a wizerd. Anything beyond that is just hearsay. You should check it out because it is delightfully confusing (and also appears to not be getting the traffic it deserves).

It is rumoured that the only way to become a wizard is to leave feedback (and follow @thatchthewizerd on twitter) and deep down, isn't that everyone's greatest desire? The answer to that question is most certainly: "Maybe?".

Also, I should mention that I really like this guest strip because I feel that it fully encompasses the inner turmoil and pain that I try to express through all my comics. Being stuck in a pickle with no clear way out is exactly what Octopuns is all about.

Disclaimer: accidental rhyming is not the responsibility of octopuns inc

#79 - Safety

2011-09-10T11:29:00.002+10:00

To fully understand this comic, you're going need to have a pretty thorough knowledge of a game called Super Mario. If you haven't played it already I suggest you track it down (you might have to import a copy, as it's rather rare) because it's an amazing game that hasn't received the attention it deserves. It was made by a small indie development group called Nintendo and they need our support!

#78 - Payback

2011-09-07T01:02:00.001+10:00

I don't even care that this isn't actually a pun. This is my Mona Lisa.

Guest Strip #6 - Brian Russell (The Underfold)

2011-09-02T14:49:00.001+10:00

Yet another guest strip. I received this comic in an email that only said "I can't tell if I made this non-offensive or not". I can't tell either so I'm going to leave it up to you guys. All I know is that I stared at it blankly for 5 minutes and then laughed. More than I have ever laughed at an Octopun.

The creator of this possibly-offensive comic is Brian Russell. When he is not making guest comics for Octopuns (which is 99.9% of the time) he is making an amazing webcomic called The Underfold. It's a self-proclaimed "absurdist geek comic" so if you like absurdist geek comics, then today is your lucky day. It is also very well suited to people who have never heard the term absurdist geek comic before right now (I am one of those people).

The main point is that you should go check it out. So, GO DO THAT.

Now that you are back, I should tell you that he also tweets things over at @Brian_Russell so you should follow him if you like absurdist geek tweets (and/or regular tweets).

The bad news is that this is probably the last guest comic for a while.

#77 - Lonely

2011-08-31T00:01:00.001+10:00

I'm back. Unfortunately.

I probably should have made something better (or perhaps something that made sense) for my totally amazing return, but that just wouldn't have felt right.

Guest Strip #5

2011-08-30T09:56:00.007+10:00

It seems that my readers have decided that because I won't update, they will. I'm aiming to do a regular update tonight (an especially horrible one), but in the mean time... here's a couple guest strips that were submitted by one of my "fans". You can find him/contact him over at cvs.tumblr.com (as the bars below the comics suggest).

Guest Strip #4 - Time Cowboy

2011-08-18T17:50:00.002+10:00

I'm not sure what to say. This is a guest comic from the guy who brought you Guest Comic #2. He is also the guy that does amazing drawings and things over at Time Cowboy. You should definitely go check it out if you haven't already because as you can see, he is so much better at this whole drawing thing than me. If you get the chance, you should probably also tell him that he is mean. Guest artists aren't meant to surpass the skills of the original creator so blatantly. This is outrageous.

In other news, Octopuns will be taking a short break (as of 17/08/2011) due to real life getting in the way. After that short break, which if all goes well should last only a week, I'm going to try my very best to actually update on time (but I can't promise you anything)! In the meantime, I may update with guest-comics/small-bonus-comics if I get the chance, so be sure to check back if you're impatient and can't wait a week. I should probably also take this opportunity to thank all my new readers for your awesome comments. Considering the fact I absolutely despise this entire webcomic, your comments are the only thing that forces me to update. :P

#76 - The Plan

2011-08-13T18:30:00.001+10:00

This comic is payback for the whole "this comic is too vague! this comic is too obvious!" situation. I hope this pun made you cry. (not really, you guys are alright).

This comic is super late and probably super badly coloured because just before I started inking, Flash decided to stop working for me, so I had to move my stuff over to photoshop. :(

#75 - Fired

2011-08-10T16:44:00.001+10:00

Obvious punchline because everyone cried last time. Also, his display drivers are really, super old. That is why his computer can only display about 15 words at a time, and can't handle any fancy formatting or colours.

#74 - The Well

2011-08-06T12:02:00.001+10:00

There are no tears because it is consensual. The bucket just isn't used to doing it in public.

#73 - Elevator

2011-08-02T22:02:00.001+10:00

Predictaaaaableeeeeee. I am hoping most of you forgot that Octopuns was about puns before you read this comic.

For the record, Octopuns will now update on Tuesday and Friday because Monday and Friday didn't really make that much sense. In other words, Octopuns will probably update on Wednesday and Saturday.

#72 - Fighting

2011-07-29T21:17:00.001+10:00

Oh. My. God. Is there a such thing as Comicker's block? Comicdude's block? Tetris for webcomickers? I've been trying desperately to make a comic for the past eleventy hours and THIS was the best I could come up with.

What the hell? WHAT THE HELL BRAIN? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

#71 - Break-Up

2011-07-25T20:27:00.002+10:00

It is never too late to make fun of Wii Fit. RIGHT? RIGHT?!

#70 - Laptop

2011-07-23T00:49:00.001+10:00

Let's file this under "puns that only work aurally" (haha aurally).

Also, the store is not empty because I am lazy, the store is empty because I wanted to show all you dudes and dudettes that there are shady businesses even in the land of Octopuns. You need to be careful.

#69 - Wine

2011-07-16T00:19:00.003+10:00

Hahahahahahaha, there are so many unnecessary panels.

I'm sure you'll all be glad to know that despite the rough start, the rest of the night went as planned and there will very likely be a second date. This is most likely because Mr. Green Octopus is one of the only Octopus remaining that has a consistent (and correct) amount of tentacles. She can't possibly do any better. (also he is quite possibly a vet)

Also, it is super lucky I am not entering a cat drawing competition because I would totally wipe the floor with all the other competitors.

ONE MORE NOTE: I recently added a couple drawings to the Horrible Drawings section of my blog. Check it out and leave some suggestions, and I promise you I will probably ignore them.

#68 - Banned

2011-07-11T23:18:00.002+10:00

This is more of a situation that involves a pun than an actual joke, but mwahaha, that's what you get for posting such nice things in my comments section.

I believe this is also the first comic that involves a black Octopus (or at least the first comic where a black Octopus gets to say something). This is because Octopuns is now 100% racism free!

#67 - Birthday

2011-07-09T20:57:00.003+10:00

This is dedicated to my bro, Alex. Apparently it is his birthday today, so uhh Happy Birthday.. This comic is dedicated to him because he really likes cardigans (and that is totally a cardigan). I'd like to thank him for playing crap games with me and yelling at me in capitals on Twitter. I'd also like to thank him for giving me an opportunity to post this horrible comic and disguise it as a "gift". If no one likes this comic, it is Alex's fault because his sole interest is "cardigans". I had very little to work with.

Alex runs a pretty rad hipster blog over at www.noiseetc.com. I recommend it to anyone who likes the part of the Venn diagram where "music" and "Tasmania" intersect. (I'll admit that it's probably not a very large part).

Also, hello to all my new random commenters. I must inform you that the quality of my comic is not at all consistent. That's good news for you, because it means that I might actually post something good once or twice a year.

#66 - Shopping

2011-07-05T02:12:00.001+10:00

#65 - Evacuation

2011-07-02T23:02:00.003+10:00

Is this even a real pun? :(

#64 - Lightbulb

2011-06-28T23:04:00.001+10:00

Lazy comic (well, more than usual). Sorry. So sleepy.

Also late. Sorry.

One day I won't apologise when I update. That'll be the day.

#63 - Competition

2011-06-25T18:29:00.002+10:00

That's pretty harsh.

#62 - Train

2011-06-21T14:49:00.005+10:00

I assume you all expected that.

Sorry for the lack of comic last Friday. The problem (one of the problems?) with Octopuns is that it was spawned from procrastination. During university hours and exam time, it's incredibly easy for me to produce these amazingly drawn comics. Now that exams are over, it's not quite as easy because I am super lazy by nature.

Don't worry, the point of that story was lost on me too. Perhaps the moral of the story is that "I think I can, but only when I'm procrastinating".

#61 - Shipwreck

2011-06-14T00:27:00.013+10:00

I decided to try out thicker lines this time, but I'm not entirely sure whether I like it or not. Though, I do like the fact that it simplifies things.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

#60 - Poison

2011-06-11T02:13:00.002+10:00

I'm not sure what this comic is about.

#59 - Spirits

2011-06-07T02:14:00.001+10:00

I know these dudes might not be mediums but Allison Dubois has a monopoly on google's image search so we will never know what non-tv mediums look like. You can blame her.

ALSO, THERE ARE TEARS IN EVERY PANEL BECAUSE I KNOW THAT'S ALL YOU CARE ABOUT

#58 - Deposit

2011-06-03T22:41:00.002+10:00

Damn racists.

#57 - Rubbish

2011-05-31T01:47:00.005+10:00

Woaaaaah, the name of this comic doubles as a description of it!

#56 - The Mob

2011-05-28T04:43:00.003+10:00

One day I'll make a good comic, I promise.

Also, I am aware that octopi are not fish but everyone lies on dates. Besides, that's not even meant to be the joke. I'm not entirely sure what the joke was meant to be but it is 5am and I should be going to sleep. All I know is: that is one good looking purple dude in the first panel.

#55 - President

2011-05-24T05:07:00.004+10:00

I THINK THIS SORT OF MAKES SENSE IF YOU READ IT WITH A STRONG LISP, SO UMM, GO DO THAT. THANKS.

EDIT: Fine, I changed the ending because you guys don't seem to care why a major character in this comic was not able to attend his very important presentation. It seems to me like all you guys come here for is the puns, and once the pun is over, you don't care who is dead and who is holding their limp, lifeless body. None of you get credit for the change because you all broke my heart and spirit together.

As punishment (that wasn't a pun joke, I don't like you guys anymore), you get the same frame pasted four times with absolutely no changes. I hope you are a happy with yourselves.

(original comic can be seen here)

#54 - Regret

2011-05-21T01:04:00.001+10:00

Children are super annoying.

Comics will continue as usual on Monday despite the end of the world. I'm pretty certain the creation of this webcomic is considered a sin so I'm bound to be left behind.

#53 - Balls

2011-05-17T03:32:00.001+10:00

Yes, those are meant to be balls. (haha balls)

Also, sorry about the lack of update on Friday. It was partly because of blogger's downtime and partly because I was super busy trying not to fail all my university courses. The good news is that I decided that failing would be fun so I probably won't miss anymore updates! True story.

#52 - Environmentally Friendly

2011-05-10T14:57:00.001+10:00

I hope you enjoyed your horrible, predictable late comic. It was late partly because blogger was being mean, and partly because I am super busy failing university. It was horrible because that is just how I roll.

Also, if you think I traced that car you just need to think to yourself, "Would the creator of the amazing webcomic Octopuns do something like that?" and you will have your answer.

#51 - Office

2011-05-06T22:40:00.001+10:00

This totally makes sense. I swear.

#50 - Turret Control

2011-05-02T22:14:00.004+10:00

Woah. I have reached 50 horrible comics! That's pretty amazingly horrible! In celebration, I made you a horrible comic! I also made you a second ultra-horrible comic but then deleted it! They are ~~both~~ just in time for the release of Portal 2!

#49 - Coffee

2011-04-29T03:27:00.002+10:00

The super dude who runs Time Cowboy (and also made a super awesome guest comic) once suggested that I steal this comic and pretend it was my own idea. Obviously, I couldn't do that because you guys would totally catch me (and it's morally wrong or something) so I instead decided to extend the puns and give credit where credit is due. The only problem is I'm not entirely sure who I should be giving credit to....so, for now, thanks dude that can clearly draw coffee better than me. If anyone has any idea of the source of the comic, let me know in the comments section, or send me an angry email.

Now that that's out of the way, I should mention a few things about this comic. I clearly don't know my coffees, but I'm pretty sure that's not a latte and that's not a mocha. However, I made this comic instead of doing my assignment so you guys aren't allowed to complain.

Also, I'm not entirely sure what's happening in this comic. It appears the first coffee made a joke, and then the other coffees went along with it, and then the original coffee got angry? Any other explanations would be greatly appreciated.

ALSO, WHO ARE THOSE CRAZY OCTOPODES THAT NEED SO MUCH CAFFEINE?

P.S If the mug in the final panel has scarred you for life, just imagine how I must feel. That thing came out of my mind. God knows what else is in there.

Thanks for wasting 3 minutes of your time reading my incoherent ramblings! If it took you longer, read faster!

#48 - Internet

2011-04-25T19:00:00.001+10:00

This is pretty god damn horrible.
So horrible that the pyramid doesn't even really seem to care that it's about to get wiped from existence.

#47 - Code Red

2011-04-22T02:38:00.002+10:00

Poor guy.

Guest Strip #3 - Anonymous

2011-04-18T01:41:00.001+10:00

Another guest comic, this time from the one and only "Borders around the Comic." (You can see some of his other work by hitting the back button).

Please direct all insults towards him, and not me.

#46 - Army

2011-04-15T18:55:00.001+10:00

This would have almost been unexpected if this wasn't a comic about puns.

Also, I am great at freehand ovals!

#45 - Construction

2011-04-11T01:55:00.001+10:00

#44 - Classroom

2011-04-08T23:50:00.001+10:00

This is one of the very first comics I created, so you can blame past me instead.

#43 - Security

2011-04-04T23:53:00.001+10:00

I wish I could claim that Octopuns was a two person creation because it may explain the fact that half (probably more) of these comics are crazy bad, whereas the other half are almost acceptable.

Anyway, uh, sorry.

#42 - Lottery

2011-04-01T21:53:00.001+11:00

Fooled you! This isn't even a real pun! Mwahahahahaha.

#41 - Parents

2011-03-28T23:38:00.003+11:00

Feels expected and potentially old but booooo you guys.

Also, to clarify, my update schedule is Mondays and Fridays (Australia time, well, Melbourne to be exact). Australia Time is totally not the right term for it but it sounds super so I'll stick with that. Basically, what this means is that ideally, I'll update at about 9:00am on Mondays and Fridays. Of course, being the procrastinator that I am, I'm much more likely to update at 11:30pm Monday and Friday (like I'm about to now). So, the best indication I can give you is that I'll be updating at some point on those two days.

#40 - Suicide

2011-03-26T00:30:00.002+11:00

There's so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to begin.

Firstly, sorry for the late comic. I blame university and the fact that they actually expect me to work this year. What's up with that? Though, to make up for it, I missed an online test I was meant to do tonight because I was working on this horrible comic. You're welcome.

Secondly, the octopus in the first panel is sad, and he is blue. I should have just finished the comic there and called it a day. Also, "They're okay" is never a valid response to "What do you think about suicide pacts?" Neither is "We should make one." I am also aware that hanging is not really a valid way for an Octopus to commit suicide, but shhh.

Thirdly, this comic is only about 10 times as large as it needed to be. It should be 10 times more enjoyable.

...and lastly, Octopuns just got a whole lot darker. It's almost as bad as that time I killed a seal.

#39 - Dentist

2011-03-21T02:29:00.001+11:00

I don't have the artistic ability to properly illustrate the destruction of a filling. So this will have to do.

#38 - Forest Emergency

2011-03-18T02:50:00.001+11:00

As I've said a few times before, it's sometimes difficult to think of an original pun that hasn't already been discovered by one of the fifteen eleventybillion people on the internet. However, a google search of this pun netted far fewer results than I would have expected, and I was unable to find a comic/image that actually used it in a story of sorts.

I can't remember what I was trying to say. Oh, that's right. From now on, I'm not even going to google the puns I think of because I'm sick of being disappointed and crying myself to sleep. The best I can do is attempt to depict them in an original/slightly entertaining way (but I'll likely fail at that too).

That said, if you come here expecting good, original jokes, you're probably in the wrong place.

ALSO, SHUTUP THAT'S WHAT BEAVERS LOOK LIKE.

#37 - Musicians

2011-03-14T11:22:00.001+11:00

#36 - Disturbance

2011-03-11T17:14:00.001+11:00

God. I'm really not cut out for this whole comic thing.
This comic doesn't even make sense unless you pretend the Octopi are people.

START PRETENDING (AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, PRETEND THIS WASN'T COMPLETELY CRAP)

#35 - Alphabet

2011-03-07T10:53:00.002+11:00

That's what vomit looks like, right? RIGHT? RIGHT?

#34 - Bathroom

2011-03-04T15:14:00.003+11:00

Maybe vague?

Also, I've changed the update schedule to Mondays and Fridays only because I'm lazy.

#33 - Stand-Up

2011-02-28T10:57:00.001+11:00

That'd be me if I ever did stand-up comedy. Though my jokes wouldn't be nearly as good.

#32 - Baking

2011-02-25T13:46:00.001+11:00

#31 - Vinegar

2011-02-23T07:31:00.001+11:00

I'm not entirely sure why the vinegar suddenly grew old lady hair.

#30 - Shark

2011-02-21T11:07:00.002+11:00

Nothing to see here. Move along.

#29 - Psychic

2011-02-18T07:36:00.002+11:00

No lady. You are the worst Grandma ever. You're not a bad Harry Potter, though.

#28 - Counting

2011-02-16T07:24:00.001+11:00

All is well.

#27 - Extinction

2011-02-14T10:23:00.002+11:00

I don't care how much it looks like it, that's not a chocolate cookie.

#26 - Ghost

2011-02-11T09:36:00.001+11:00

It's probably a really overused pun, but I actually like how this turned out. My ghost "effect" is pretty lame, but I think it gets the point across. Also, COOKIES! YAY!

#25 - Punishment

2011-02-09T06:54:00.001+11:00

Had to rush to get this one out because I'm catching a bus in 5 minutes.

Pretty predictable, I think. :(

#24 - Takeover

2011-02-07T16:55:00.002+11:00

Their takeover may have failed partly because they were baked, but THAT IS NOT THE JOKE GO AWAY.

Also, there was no way I was going to beat the last strip, so I didn't even try.

Everyone hit the back button and read about triangles!

#23 - Triangles

2011-02-04T08:32:00.001+11:00

Three horrible puns in one comic? YES.

That's all.

#22 - The Project

2011-02-02T12:12:00.001+11:00

Another short one because I am lazy. But I'm totally going to stop being lazy and work on Friday's right now! ...or later tonight! ...or maybe tomorrow! That's if my laptop doesn't finally decide to die.

I'm sure you guys don't come here for quality comics anyway, so I doubt I'm disappointing anyone.

#21 - Promotion

2011-01-31T15:29:00.001+11:00

#20 - Heist

2011-01-28T16:33:00.001+11:00

Possibly old joke (well, it's old even by my standards as I've had it written up for years) but I'm going to stop googling my puns before I create my comics. I always get disappointed by the fact that someone has already beaten me to the punch.

Also, I can't draw darkness. :(

#19 - World

2011-01-26T07:52:00.001+11:00

...

Please excuse me for this horribly bad "joke" that doesn't even really make sense.

Friday will be here soon, and you'll never have to see this comic again!

#18 - Bowling

2011-01-24T10:53:00.002+11:00

Alternate title for this comic: 'Super Mario Power-Ups Go Bowling And One Of Them Is Sad'.

Also, before anyone comments on the incorrect scoring system and the irregular number of frames per game: THE LAND OF OCTOPI USES A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SCORING SYSTEM SO SHHHHHH.

Oh, and drawing pins is horrible.

Guest Strip #2 - Time Cowboy

2011-01-23T20:35:00.007+11:00

Another guest comic from a seemingly random person. At least this person has a sexy blog full of pixel art, and proper art and pictures of some guy in an office. I definitely suggest you check it out if you're interested in people with actual artistic talent. You can check it out here or here or over here. They all go to the same place so it really doesn't matter. You can even check it out by clicking anywhere in this entire sentence (or even by clicking the comic). Go ahead. You know you want to.

CLICK HERE

#17 - Serial Killer

2011-01-21T14:52:00.004+11:00

I am ashamed of myself.

BUT IT WAS POSSIBLY UNEXPECTED BECAUSE YOU WERE TOTALLY THINKING 'OH I BET IT'S GOING TO BE A DUDE WHO KILLS CEREAL'. THAT IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL: 'TRICKING MY READERS'.

#16 - Ants

2011-01-19T23:08:00.002+11:00

I was planning on spending a bit more time on this, but as Wednesday is nearly over and my one fan is incredibly impatient, I went with something simple.

AND YES, ANTS ARE BROWN.

Guest Strip #1 - Jack Niehsner

2011-01-17T17:06:00.003+11:00

As Octopuns is still in its early stages, I was not intending to do guest strips (especially if they'd replace my usual updates) but a "totally radical dude" by the name of Jack Niehsner pitched this idea to me and it made me laugh. As I try to avoid doing jokes that have been suggested to me (or that can easily be found with a quick google search), rather than let this joke go to waste, I offered Jack the amazing opportunity to create a guest strip for a webcomic nobody knows about. As Jack doesn't have a blog/website he wishes to advertise, and I have absolutely no means of advertising said website, it seemed like the perfect situation.

~~I'll still be updating as usual today, but will put it off for as long as possible.~~

I AM A LIAR

#15 - Last Request

2011-01-14T17:19:00.001+11:00

I really don't know what to say (except maybe that I TOTALLY SUCK AT DRAWING BEDS AND ADHERING TO THE BASIC RULES OF PHYSICS)

#14 - Escape

2011-01-12T01:42:00.002+11:00

The green octopus in the last panel may actually be moaning in reference to his friend's pun, not his internal bleeding.

#13 - Drought

2011-01-10T09:00:00.007+11:00

Sometimes I think about or plan lame jokes well in advance, and then by the time I actually get to draw them up, they don't feel original anymore. So, I'm not sure whether this one feels weird because it's actually not original, or because I am a crazy.

EITHER WAY, ENJOY MY CRAPPILY DRAWN WATER.

#12 - Scissors

2011-01-07T19:51:00.002+11:00

I swear not all my comics will be about inanimate objects getting bad news and then crying.

There was totally one about a seal a few weeks ago!

#11 - Bread

2011-01-05T22:02:00.003+11:00

To be honest, I think he's really quite photogenic.

ALSO, APOLOGIES IF THIS IS OLD/EXPECTED. NOT ALL MY COMICS CAN BE PERFECT.

#10 - Restaurant

2011-01-03T17:52:00.002+11:00

Ah, my arch nemesis: doors.

ONE DAY I WILL CONQUER YOU (or just write comics that do not ever require doors)!

#9 - Cake

2010-12-28T23:07:00.005+11:00

I know I said I'd update Wednesday, and it's actually Tuesday, but I can't resist. I PROMISE I WILL NEVER UPDATE EARLY AGAIN.

(also, be proud of me for making a cake joke and not even mentioning portal until now)

#8 - Stash

2010-12-27T19:18:00.005+11:00

#7 - Home Sweet Home

2010-12-26T17:27:00.004+11:00

Yes, that is an octopus wearing a house costume. Perhaps it is an imposter? Perhaps not. Either way, it is not relevant at all.

#6 - Breakfast

2010-12-24T14:34:00.002+11:00

I apologise for the extraordinarily crap joke.

#5 - Sleep Time

2010-12-22T00:28:00.002+11:00

#4 - Merry Christmas!

2010-12-19T23:33:00.002+11:00

I'm sorry poor little octopi. I've only had you for four comics and I've already made you have sex. Please forgive me.

Also, I'm sorry little pink octopus, but you lost a limb halfway through your sexual congress.

#3 - The New Guy

2010-12-19T16:05:00.001+11:00

Note: That's meant to be a Llama.

#2 - Charge!

2010-12-17T14:08:00.004+11:00

#1 - Warning Label

2010-12-17T14:05:00.003+11:00